Lloyd the Psychic

Last night myself, Ellen, Amy and Kerry found ourselves sitting in the living room of Lloyd the Psychic on River Street in Cambridge. The walls were covered in african masks, incense filled the air, and strange growling noises were coming from the next room. The place gave me an uneasy feeling, I wasn't neccessarily spooked out but let's just say I wouldn't have been surprised if someone jumped out of a closet naked at us. I know that is effed up to say, but I don't know how else to describe it, it's just how i felt.

Kerry has promised to comment with better descriptions of the masks and I'm hoping she will include some of her deep and moving personal experiences with Paper Machéte.

Moving forward - around some of my social circles Lloyd the Psychic is famous. I heard alot about him but I had never been. Ellen made the appointments for herself, Amy and I and Kerry was just along for the ride. Both Ellen and Kerry had been there before and tried to prepare both Amy and I. They told us to have two questions prepared, that he rings a bell and we shouldn't laugh when he does this. I freaked out when I heard the last part because I have this problem with inappropriate laughter and if someone tells me not to laugh it's almost certain that I will let out a loud snort because I am trying to stifle the giggles.

When the time came for one of us to go in and get read by Lloyd the plan we had made earlier in the week for Ellen to go first suddenly shit the bed. Up first - Auntie Scotch.

The moment I sat down with Lloyd (who by the way looks the infeminate twin brother of Lou Gossett Jr.) and he rang his bell the my feelings of angst died down. I was kind of nervous I would have to hold his hand or he would have to touch my head or something and that caused me all sorts of anxiety. Once I realized that there is nothing funny about his bell and I won't have to get touchy feely with a strange man in a trance I calmed down (yeah, yeah, I know I'm leaving myself wide open for promiscuity jokes with that line).

He started to say things about my life, some true, some totally false, all the while scribbling it down on a piece of paper. According to him I am quiet, a good listener, and children are drawn to me. I immediately flash back over the past few days and recall myself bellowing into a microphone, falling asleep when Jude was telling me about her work life, and talking to my four year old niece on phone and being told "you are not my friend, Auntie." Hmmm....

But, he did say a few things about people in my life that were right on the money such as Jude is "surrounded by boxes" (which I didn't think was true until I told her. "Oh my god! Amazing! I need to go see him myself! Wow! Oh, and if your boxes aren't out of my house this weekend they are being put out with the trash"....goddamn you Lloyd).

After my reading Amy and Ellen went in and we promised we would not discuss our readings until we were all together. Once everyone was done with Lloyd we headed to the Tavern on the Square for drinks and appetizers.

We got to comparing our readings, Amy seemed happy enough with hers because he spoke alot about her art work. Ellen wasn't jumping for joy, but she was content. As we literally compared our notes it turns out he said alot of the same stuff to all of us - deep insights such as "you have a friend at work who you talk to" and "You have taken a trip to Florida".

Just about the time we should of left we ordered another round of beer.

The night goes on, and I will write about it soon because it involves Kerry possibly being in a Miller Lite commercial and me and Amy tap dancing at the request of a tranny. But now I am so so so tired.