profanity penance
It never fails that I am trying to do something that takes concentration when I hear a knock on my door followed by a "HELLO AUNTIE I'M HERE TO VISIT!"
Last Saturday I was in the midst of hanging up curtains in my office when my niece Kay made her way up from Nana's house (Nana lives downstairs from me). Being four years old, one of her favorite games is play-acting. She pretends to be so and so and I in turn have to pretend to be whoever she tells me to. The cats sometimes get involved, for example last Christmas Nickels was up for the part of baby Jesus but then got booted when she hissed and scratched when we tried to wrap her in a blanket. No divas allowed on the set - the role eventually went to a teddy bear, which turned out to be a blessing since we could pay him scale.
Anyhow, on Saturday I talked her into pretending to be an office worker while I pretended to also be an office worker but one who got sucked into being chair of the volunteer beautification committee and therefore had to put up curtains.
While she typed away on the computer and took phone calls I tried to balance myself on my desk when suddenly I lost my footing and went crashing into the window.
"FU&K!!" I yell.
Kay got up from her office work and helped me up. When I got back onto my feet she says:
"Now Auntie, when you say the word fu&k, that means I am going to hear you. Then I am going to repeat it, and kids aren't suppose to say the word fu&k. So that means we will both get in trouble."
I apologized and told her I would never use that word again and told her even if she hears an adult say it she cannot say that word until she gets into college. I tried to explain that sometimes adults let that word slip without thinking about it when they get frustrated.
That said, I promise never to use that word in this blog again. Unless of course it is a direct quote or absolutely necessary to get my point across.
Ah fuck it, I've got some time before she can read full sentences. Just be thankful that I am most likely barren due to all the recreational drugs I did in the 90's.
Last Saturday I was in the midst of hanging up curtains in my office when my niece Kay made her way up from Nana's house (Nana lives downstairs from me). Being four years old, one of her favorite games is play-acting. She pretends to be so and so and I in turn have to pretend to be whoever she tells me to. The cats sometimes get involved, for example last Christmas Nickels was up for the part of baby Jesus but then got booted when she hissed and scratched when we tried to wrap her in a blanket. No divas allowed on the set - the role eventually went to a teddy bear, which turned out to be a blessing since we could pay him scale.
Anyhow, on Saturday I talked her into pretending to be an office worker while I pretended to also be an office worker but one who got sucked into being chair of the volunteer beautification committee and therefore had to put up curtains.
While she typed away on the computer and took phone calls I tried to balance myself on my desk when suddenly I lost my footing and went crashing into the window.
"FU&K!!" I yell.
Kay got up from her office work and helped me up. When I got back onto my feet she says:
"Now Auntie, when you say the word fu&k, that means I am going to hear you. Then I am going to repeat it, and kids aren't suppose to say the word fu&k. So that means we will both get in trouble."
I apologized and told her I would never use that word again and told her even if she hears an adult say it she cannot say that word until she gets into college. I tried to explain that sometimes adults let that word slip without thinking about it when they get frustrated.
That said, I promise never to use that word in this blog again. Unless of course it is a direct quote or absolutely necessary to get my point across.
Ah fuck it, I've got some time before she can read full sentences. Just be thankful that I am most likely barren due to all the recreational drugs I did in the 90's.
Labels: Family
posted by Betty Blog at 10:56 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home