Just One of the Guys

One of my oldest and dearest friends got married on Sunday. He has been like a second brother to me. My second brother, growing up he was always in a cast or on crutches hobbling over to my house anytime a member of the opposite sex came ten feet near my door demanding intentions be put on the table. My second brother, who I once blamed for a joint found in my coat pocket, who once told all the neighborhood boys I had more hair on my back than I did on my head (UNFOUNDED!!). He is a blessed hole in my head that second brother of mine.

The wedding was beautiful. I cried like a baby - one part because of beauty of it all and one part because of the voice whispering “it will never be you. You are going to die alone.” But soon my mother quieted down and the bar opened, my eyes dried and it was time to party.

This was a hometown bonanza, I saw people I haven’t seen in years. Crazy people. Fun people. I just knew it was going to be one of those nights. You know, those nights where you drop the entire contents of your wallet into the toilet (check) and wake up the next morning with a melted carvel ice cream cake all over your coffee table because you took it out to eat but passed out before you got a chance to attack it (double check)? Yeah, one of those nights.

Growing up I had a huge social circle that mostly consisted of platonic male friends. I haven’t seen most of them in several years so it was so great catching up. I was a bit surprised, we picked up like it was yesterday. I was quite shocked that even though we are all older and they don’t really know me that well anymore that they were fairly free to say whatever gross or inappropriate thing that came to their minds. I wasn’t offended so to speak, just surprised is all. Fairly flattered in a way – obviously I can still hang with the boys although don’t really know if I want to again anytime soon.

My mother (Jude) showed me some pictures. There is one of me with several of the guys, Tall Jake is behind me giving me a hug, everyone else is smiling but I look like I am about to scream.

“What’s with your face in this one?” she asks.

“Oh, Tall Jake told me he had an erection a second before you took the shot.”

And that pretty much sums up the whole evening. Great food, great drinks, great friends standing behind you with an erection as your mom takes a photo. I felt as if I was 14 again. And I wonder where the social anxiety around men comes from!?!?