Bus Junk
There was a gentleman sitting across from me on the bus to work this morning. He was professionally dressed and seem quite normal by bus standards.
One of the many golden rules of the bus is try never to make eye contact with anyone. If someone is looking you directly in the eye they are obviously crazy or looking for trouble, in that case you need to deem their behavior suspicious and report them to the bus driver.
So there I was, playing the no eye contact game, looking at the ceiling, out the window, studying my hands and fiddling with my mp3, soon they drifted down to the floor but immediately popped back up a few inches. Because there, low and behold, was a birds eye view of the gentleman sitting across from me's testicles, popping out of a hole in his pants for all the world, or at least everyone sitting on the three seater across from him on the front of the bus, to marvel at.
I immediately looked away, then back, away again, back, away..... I just couldn't believe it. He was engrossed in the "Metro" and I truly believe he had no clue whatsoever. He just made the wrong choice to go commando in the wrong pants.
Now, I don't have testicles, literally or figuratively, but I would imagine that if I did, and they were exposed, that they would catch some sort of draft, don'tcha think? When I'm bending down and exposing my plumbers crack, I know it. I'm not going to do anything about it, but dammit I know it.
And because of that, the thought of letting him know he was exposing himself left my mind as soon as it had entered it. In the past year I've unknowingly walked around with a hole in my pants exposing my ass and went through an entire meeting with my boss with my bra fully exposed without anyone letting me know, so I feel as though I've paid my dues and don't need to tell every Joe with fly down or junk swinging in the breeze to zip it up or tuck it in.
Aside from that, I don't think that is what they mean when they ask you to report any unattended packages to the bus driver. But just for fun, maybe I should have. I've always wanted to report an unattended package just to see how ol' grumpy bus driver would respond.
One of the many golden rules of the bus is try never to make eye contact with anyone. If someone is looking you directly in the eye they are obviously crazy or looking for trouble, in that case you need to deem their behavior suspicious and report them to the bus driver.
So there I was, playing the no eye contact game, looking at the ceiling, out the window, studying my hands and fiddling with my mp3, soon they drifted down to the floor but immediately popped back up a few inches. Because there, low and behold, was a birds eye view of the gentleman sitting across from me's testicles, popping out of a hole in his pants for all the world, or at least everyone sitting on the three seater across from him on the front of the bus, to marvel at.
I immediately looked away, then back, away again, back, away..... I just couldn't believe it. He was engrossed in the "Metro" and I truly believe he had no clue whatsoever. He just made the wrong choice to go commando in the wrong pants.
Now, I don't have testicles, literally or figuratively, but I would imagine that if I did, and they were exposed, that they would catch some sort of draft, don'tcha think? When I'm bending down and exposing my plumbers crack, I know it. I'm not going to do anything about it, but dammit I know it.
And because of that, the thought of letting him know he was exposing himself left my mind as soon as it had entered it. In the past year I've unknowingly walked around with a hole in my pants exposing my ass and went through an entire meeting with my boss with my bra fully exposed without anyone letting me know, so I feel as though I've paid my dues and don't need to tell every Joe with fly down or junk swinging in the breeze to zip it up or tuck it in.
Aside from that, I don't think that is what they mean when they ask you to report any unattended packages to the bus driver. But just for fun, maybe I should have. I've always wanted to report an unattended package just to see how ol' grumpy bus driver would respond.
Labels: The Frigin Bus
posted by Betty Blog at 6:48 PM
2 Comments:
Was he cute?
Honestly, I'm not quite sure. I wasn't looking at his face if you know what I mean. As far as what I was looking at I'll just say that although I don't consider myself a ball-phobe I'm not going to slap some make-up on them and put them in a pagent.
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