Some Things Don't Mix

Sunday Jude and I took a mini-road trip up to New Hampshire to attend my Uncle's memorial service. Although it is said there are no guarantees in life, I can always count on a few sure things anytime Jude and I get in a car together and have to travel over 20 miles. First off, just as we are about to get to our destination Jude's gut directional instincts kick in and she decides that we have gone too far, the wrong way, etc. Suddenly we are off the directions and lost - let the ritual begin. We stop at the first gas station that without fail, every time, gives us the wrong directions. We drive around, I realize my bladder is full, the inner-fighting begins. Our nerves are shot, we contemplate just turning around and going home and finally, we find someone on the street, or stop at a second gas station and get the correct directions on where we have to go. We always make it, even if we are late and ready to kill one another - but we make it nonetheless.

The tribute to my Uncle was very nice. They had it in a ballroom in Newmarket and everyone showed. I come from a very large family so it isn't often that we are all together in the same room, it's unfortunate it had to be under these circumstances, but it was good to see everyone and catch up.

After chewing the fat with my cousins for a bit I decided there was no time like the present to go up and get myself a rum and coke. I figured it couldn't hurt my social anxiety and it would take the edge off the trip home since it was almost time to leave. I sipped my drink slowly over the next hour (and i know that is hard to believe coming from me but it's true) and as I greeted a few more aunts/uncles/cousins no less than two of them asked - "you're not driving home are you?"

The honest answer to that was, no, I wasn't - Jude was.

But what I really wanted to say was - if you know me well enough to assume that I am totally hammered just because there is a bar here (which by the way is the safest assumption you can and will make) than you should also know me well enough to know my view on drinking and driving.

I mean, anyone who has tried to man the wheel and shake up a decent batch of martinis knows that it is nearly impossible to do so. On top of that it's dangerous - say you hit a pothole, you are running the major risk of dumping your drink all over the place and you damn well know I don't condone spillage.