A Special Ladder for A Special Lady

This weekend I decided to tackle a home project that I have been procrastinating for almost a year now. So I got my ass up early on Saturday morning to get a jump start on taking down the wall paper in my entryway in an effort to repaint the entire thing.

I headed to Home Depot as soon as they opened to pick up some DIF, a scraper, and an extension pole for the scraper because the walls are very high on the staircase part. I found the dif and the scraper without a problem. When I came to the extension poles I picked one out and started to compare it with the scraper.

"That’s not going to work," the Depot clerk said.

Do you have any extension poles for wall paper strippers? I ask.

"No, you are going to need a ladder."

But it is on a staircase.

"Then you will need a special ladder. You can rent one here."

By this time everyone in earshot, all men, were staring at us.

Well, I’m doing this myself, so I’m a bit leery on getting up on a ladder on a staircase.

The clerk exchanges a look with another male patron. They both smirk.

"Well, I really don’t know what to tell you," he says, "there is no alternative. You are going to have to get a special ladder." Or get a man in your life you lonely pathetic cat lady. (okay, so I made that last part up. But dammit he was thinking it).

I thanked him and slowly walked away with my head down, defeated and feeling foolish.

Shit. I was sure of two things. I wanted that paper down and I sure as hell did not want to rent a ladder, regardless of how special it was. The only way I would consider it is if it included a free wheelchair in the deal, because if I got up onto a ladder on a staircase, I would likely be confined to one for the rest of my life.

I waited until the clerk was busy raining on someone else’s parade and I grabbed and extension pole and hightailed it out of there (stopping to wrestle with a self check-out lane first of course).

I got home and took out the pole and the scraper. By god that man was right, there was no way on earth that the two were going to fit together. Who would have thought? I am a crazy broad after all.

But I didn’t give up so easily, I went into my closet to find my drill to see if I could doctor it up (MacGyver it if you will) when I came across an old plastic push broom. Forgetting the drill, I grabbed the broom and took it apart.

Wouldn’t you know it, the broom handle and the scraper fit perfectly together and worked like a charm. The paper was down within hours.

I was so proud of myself when Jude and my niece Kay came up to check it out. I told them the story about the man who wanted me to rent a scary ladder, how he told me it could not be done, but I did not give up.

Let this be a lesson to you, Kay. Never give up. If you can dream it, you can do it.

She was silent for a moment as she scanned the now bare walls and debris on the floor. A look of confusion came over her face:

This is your dream, Auntie? she asked.

Nothing like a four year old to take you down a few notches.

God, this has got to be the running for the most boring blog ever. Sorry folks. Don't think it was lost on me that I created my own "stripper pole" - it's Monday and I'm too tired for sexy humor. Also, note that I was appreciative of the clerk's assistance, he was honest even if his tone was a tad condescending.

Happy Monday!