Chocolate Shower
I typically use this blog as a tool in my life long effort of dumbing down America or to shamelessly promote my drinking and weight problems. But once in a while I feel I have something important to contribute to society through experience, and it is my obligation to warn you and ask you to pass it on - a public service announcement if you will. So here it is:
Chocolate fountains - just say no.
You may see one of these babies in the bargain bin at Bed, Bath and Beyond and think - "how novel! This is a great idea for my next party! Why doesn't everyone have one of these?!" And I have to admit, in theory it is a great idea, who the hell wouldn't want to have a fountain of chocolate to dip fruit, fried cheese, and any random body part into?
But I’ve had two separate bad experiences with these babies and I can sum it up nicely in one simple equation:
Chocolate fountain + copious amounts of liquor = cat covered in chocolate
Even when you take the drinking and cat out of the chocolate fountain equation, they are still a huge pain in the ass to operate, so when I heard they wanted to have one at my brother and future wife's wedding shower, I threw my two cents in. Since the bridal party is made up of her friends that I do not know so well, I didn't press the issue, I just let them know that I've seen things go wrong in the past with chocolate fountains and we should just be aware of it.
We met well before the start time to prepare for the big party. I was pretty eager to help out in any way I could, I may have been a bit over the top because I felt I had a little to prove since people didn't know me that well and (although Jude and my brother will choke when they read this), I kind of felt I represented the groom's side in all of this and didn't want to let my family down. I am such a sweetheart – really, folks.
Anyhow, running around, doing this and that, I noticed no one was touching the fountain. I tried to avoid it with all my might, but when I looked at the time and noticed we only had 30 minutes until folks were supposed to arrive, I had no choice. I took it out, washed it, assembled it, and started to follow the directions.
I burnt the first batch of chocolate in the microwave, filling the entire hall with burnt chocolate stench, but got the second right and walked it over to the fountain. By this time, I had a following of three young ladies, my 4-year old niece included, all ready with pretzels and marshmallows on skewers in hand.
Realizing I was the adult in the situation, I told them to stand back. We all held our breath as I turned the motor on.
They squealed with delight as it churned and then one big burst splattered directly across my glasses. I backed away and they descended upon it, giggling and laughing, it was quite cute actually.
I went to the bathroom to wash off my specs and noticed that it got in my hair, all over my face, my hands and therefore my clothes. Great impression I was going to make. I washed up the best I could and went back in to check on the fountain.
In the five minutes I was gone something had gone wrong, the chocolate was clumping, the motor was very loud, and the girls looked like they were outside rolling around in mud. But they were still enchanted nonetheless.
I went through the motions for the next half hour adding vegetable oil, cream, more chocolate, whatever....by this time the guests had arrived and everyone took turns giving me advice on what to do. Needless to say, when the other bridesmaids approached me and told me just to give up on it, I was all too happy to throw in the towel - after I wiped everything down within ten feet of it of course.
Other than that, everything at the shower was beautiful, the other bridesmaids and I did a great job if I do say so myself. The bride was totally surprised, got great gifts, etc. etc.
There is another story about this Saturday (not shower related) that I'll blog about later in the week.
Chocolate fountains - just say no.
You may see one of these babies in the bargain bin at Bed, Bath and Beyond and think - "how novel! This is a great idea for my next party! Why doesn't everyone have one of these?!" And I have to admit, in theory it is a great idea, who the hell wouldn't want to have a fountain of chocolate to dip fruit, fried cheese, and any random body part into?
But I’ve had two separate bad experiences with these babies and I can sum it up nicely in one simple equation:
Chocolate fountain + copious amounts of liquor = cat covered in chocolate
Even when you take the drinking and cat out of the chocolate fountain equation, they are still a huge pain in the ass to operate, so when I heard they wanted to have one at my brother and future wife's wedding shower, I threw my two cents in. Since the bridal party is made up of her friends that I do not know so well, I didn't press the issue, I just let them know that I've seen things go wrong in the past with chocolate fountains and we should just be aware of it.
We met well before the start time to prepare for the big party. I was pretty eager to help out in any way I could, I may have been a bit over the top because I felt I had a little to prove since people didn't know me that well and (although Jude and my brother will choke when they read this), I kind of felt I represented the groom's side in all of this and didn't want to let my family down. I am such a sweetheart – really, folks.
Anyhow, running around, doing this and that, I noticed no one was touching the fountain. I tried to avoid it with all my might, but when I looked at the time and noticed we only had 30 minutes until folks were supposed to arrive, I had no choice. I took it out, washed it, assembled it, and started to follow the directions.
I burnt the first batch of chocolate in the microwave, filling the entire hall with burnt chocolate stench, but got the second right and walked it over to the fountain. By this time, I had a following of three young ladies, my 4-year old niece included, all ready with pretzels and marshmallows on skewers in hand.
Realizing I was the adult in the situation, I told them to stand back. We all held our breath as I turned the motor on.
They squealed with delight as it churned and then one big burst splattered directly across my glasses. I backed away and they descended upon it, giggling and laughing, it was quite cute actually.
I went to the bathroom to wash off my specs and noticed that it got in my hair, all over my face, my hands and therefore my clothes. Great impression I was going to make. I washed up the best I could and went back in to check on the fountain.
In the five minutes I was gone something had gone wrong, the chocolate was clumping, the motor was very loud, and the girls looked like they were outside rolling around in mud. But they were still enchanted nonetheless.
I went through the motions for the next half hour adding vegetable oil, cream, more chocolate, whatever....by this time the guests had arrived and everyone took turns giving me advice on what to do. Needless to say, when the other bridesmaids approached me and told me just to give up on it, I was all too happy to throw in the towel - after I wiped everything down within ten feet of it of course.
Other than that, everything at the shower was beautiful, the other bridesmaids and I did a great job if I do say so myself. The bride was totally surprised, got great gifts, etc. etc.
There is another story about this Saturday (not shower related) that I'll blog about later in the week.
posted by Betty Blog at 7:37 AM
1 Comments:
That is a funny story. And the visual of cat covered in chocolate was good enough as a stand-alone line, so you were right not to elaborate on that. Thanks for the laugh.
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