Hitting the Ground Running....

First day, a long day, at the new gig.

Nothing more to say than - I love it. I wasn't there two hours this morning before I was busy, challenged, excited.

Oh, and I get a parking space. I am truly glad my new boss did not disclose this during the interview process because I may have just offered to work there for free (and yes I'm keeping it clean folks).

A parking space. A fucking parking space. Downtown. A parking space.

The option, if I am so bold to take it...to never....ever...ever..... have to take the T again. If I so choose, I will never ever have to be wait for the bus, or time a train, or...HOLY SHIT A PARKING SPACE!!

I put $50 bucks on a Charlie Card anyhow. Go figure.

Anyhow, blogs are going to be sparse for a bit while I get my shit together. Thank you all for the well wishes and please oh please don't let my next blog be titled "Fired"..... or..."Get back on the Bus"....

The Last Day Email

So today is my last day at my current job - new one starts on Tuesday.

In keeping with company tradition I sent out the usual "Goodbye/Thanks" mass email.

One great response I got from Jay in IT:

"Best of luck to you, and never forget - the world is your ashtray."

Kind of an inside joke but I was thinking - how many times do you think I'd be run off the road if I got the phrase "The World is My Ashtray" put onto a bumper sticker? This could work great with my idea of a "Masshole on Board" sign for my back window.

ha.

More to come this weekend, it's just been so busy, yet busy in a boringly bad way, this week.

Open Letter to my Job

Dear Job:

Well, it's less than three days that we have left together now and although I've been mostly occupying myself with happy thoughts of the future I must admit I cried today at the thought of leaving you.

It's been a long and crazy four plus years we had together - we've pretty much seen it all, haven't we?

I imagine that in another month or so they'll be someone else in here doing you and you'll most likely have forgotten all about me by then.

I will never forget how much I loved you at times and how at other times I was sick at the thought of you. Our late nights, those times when I put you before everyone and everything else. But there were moments, phases even, when you were the only sane and stable thing I had in my life. Thank you for that.

At times you defined me. You could make or break me in a heart beat. Other times I didn't want to be associated with you at all.

But now, at the end, I know this - I am a better person for having had you in my life and I will never forget all you have taught me and all you have given me.

Thanks Job, I will miss you.

Deep Thoughts by Auntie Scotch

Late last week Amy started to read the book “The Secret” and in my typical monkey-see/monkey-do behavior I picked up a copy for myself on Monday night. Personally I really haven’t had time to get into it yet but from what Ames said a good part of it is keeping your eyes open for signs (I think).

In any case, yesterday on my way to the bus stop I decided to give my Ipod a rest and take notice of the world around me in hopes that I too would receive a message from the universe.

I was not disappointed. As I waited, a butterfly fluttered by me and landed in the dirt next to an urban renewal planted-type tree only steps from my feet. It’s beauty was remarkable even amongst the discarded cigarette butts and other miscellaneous litter that surrounded it.

I went into deep thought about the beauty of change, how I am now at a crossroad and this butterfly is symbolic of what I can be, what I will be.

Then it fluttered it’s wings a bit and I was snapped back into reality, I’m afraid of bugs. Even pretty ones. I feared if that butterfly came near me I would instinctively swat it away, possibly injuring it.

More deep thoughts - if the butterfly symbolized the beauty of change and good things ahead, could it be that I have been pushing these things away out of fear?

I remembered Suldog’s blog on bees and how it made me feel silly about my fear of bugs by making me realize that insects aren’t out to hurt me, they are just trying to do their thing.

Even more deep thoughts – maybe if I learn more and change the way I think about the things I fear, there will be nothing that I cannot conquer.

It was then that I decided to write a blog about this. For effect, I reached in my bag and grabbed my camera. As I was about to take the shot, the butterfly flew off. Into traffic. Underneath a wheel of a Honda Civic. No way, it can’t end like this I thought. It has to have made it.

As the light changed and the car started to move, I saw what was left of that butterfly on the wheel of the car as it went by me.

One last deep thought – no more deep thoughts for me.

Two Short but Sweets for Monday

One....

This weekend my mother was driving along Storrow Drive with my 5 year old niece Kay when someone cut her off.

Jude: “Jeezus!!”

Kay, waving her fist responded in a thick Boston accent (that we never even knew she had): “Stupid Ahshole”

See, you are never too young to be a Masshole.

and two….

Reg and I went out for drinks on Sunday to watch the game and got into a conversation about ID checking with the bartender .

Bartender: Wow, you sure know your stuff, you must work in this business.

Me: Um, no, (cough), um…I…uh…..we ….(now dragging Reg into it)…. just drink in bars a lot.

Goodnight, Mr. Butch

RIP Mr. B.




May you get shut off by St. Peter and tossed out on yer ars by the angels. You will be missed here.

Rotten Orange

An update to the Retarded Guy vs. My Mom's Cat(s) story - apparently when I was on vacation one of the neighbors told my mom that she witnessed the guy kicking another one of my mother's cats, Clinton (aka "Rotten Orange"). Of course Jude was beside herself but honestly, I'm sure he didn't do a full on kick ball kick or pull the Karate Kid Crane on him, he probably just wanted to shoo him away. In any case, by the look of the photo I took of Clinton today I can see that:

a. He doesn't give a shit, and

b. He kinda asks for it, doesn't he? In fact, he kinda begs for it.

In Honor of it Being 7-11.....

.....I present to you a conversation I had with my friend Kerry last night in regards to the Friday night before I went on vacation when a group of us went out to celebrate my new job.

ME: Hope I wasn’t acting a-fool that Friday, I was feeling pretty good.

KERRY: No worries, you were kind of funny though. You demanded the cab stop at 7-11 for smokes and then came out with a huge bag of Funyuns, a 2-liter of Diet Coke, and a king size Butterfinger.* When we took off you demanded we stop at Store 24 because you forgot the smokes. When we dropped you off you refused to take the Funyuns with you.

*Aside from the Diet Coke (which oddly enough I had like 10 12 packs in my fridge at home), I don’t think I’ve ever eaten Funyuns or purchased a butter finger in my life prior to that night.

More on (b)OOB, Chachachanges......

On Tuesday morning I woke up at 6AM - if there is one thing I miss about my youth it is the ability to sleep in. Isn't it strange that when you have something to do, like work, you'll try to sleep until the very last second, but when you don't have any immediate plans something compels you to jump out of bed and start the day?

I slept well considering I was all alone in a tiny old cabin - the memory of two years ago when I stayed in the same place with my boyfriend and another couple and someone accidently walked into our cabin drunkingly mistaking it for theirs was fresh but my fear was dulled by the beer and exhaustion. I jumped in the car and headed to Dunkin Donuts. Before I knew it it was 10AM and Reg called to report she was on the road. Always one to laugh in the face of speed limits, she was there before I knew it.

We unloaded her car and settled into lounge chairs by the pool, three hours later we were giddy and buzzed. The thing about me and Reg is that we could be confined in a cell for months on end (and that isn't really out of the question) and never run out of things to talk about. We've been friends forever - when I think about that it gives me hope that I can indeed commit to someone or something.

After cutting out the drinks for a few hours, showering and resting, we were ready to hit the town. My friend Sand and her husband have a place in the downtown area so we planned to meet up with them.

When we arrived Sand came out of the bar she was at to meet us. As we walked toward the place I realized Sand was a bit buzzed. This was obvious because she rushed towards the train tracks to meet us and nearly got knocked down by the wooden divider that was closing down because a train was coming. Once the barriers were down, her on one side, us on the other I decided it was a good time to duck under and cross. This totally freaked the hell out of all the little kids who were holding ice cream cones and gleefully (yet now horrificly) awaiting the passing of the train. "Mam!! You are going to get your heel stuck!!" a 8 year old yelled. I ignored him. See kids, beer makes you fearless. Fine example I am.

We went to the first place and ate and then headed to another bar. I can only describe the scene as being really wicked frigin shady. Older men, middle aged women dressed in almost costume-like sexy outfits, all staring at me and Reg as if we were intruders. Sand being buzzed tried really hard to introduce both Reg and I to different men that she knew (despite Reg saying time and time again she had a boyfriend and I assuring her I just wasn't interested). One guy, who Regina swears looks exactly like Rose Nylon's boyfriend Miles (Harold Gould) from The Golden Girls was trying to convince us he was turning 50 at midnight.

I went out to smoke a butt in front of the joint and noticed that creepy looking dudes were coming in and then leaving with the older ladies....hmmm..... Some guy approached me and asked me if I was from Maine. I told him no, I was a tourist, he introduced himself and then we got into a brief conversation about my fear of amusement park rides (there was one directly across the street) and he said something almost profound and I was done with my smoke.

Nice to meet you Tim, I said shaking his hand, I've got to get back.

"Wow, a handshake!! Can I have a hug?" he asked.

Um, no

"Well can I least feel your breasts?" he asked with a stone cold serious face.

I like you're straight-forward attitude, Tim, but I don't think so. Have a good night.

Reg and I realized shortly after I got back that we were most likely witnessing men coming into the place and leaving with escorts. That alone would make me uneasy but coupled with the fact that there were parents and young children walking by the front window carrying fried dough and ice cream cones really made my skin crawl.

The rest of the trip was fun, we spent out days relaxing by the pool laughing our heads off and only headed downtown a few more times. We checked out The Pier which was pretty cool when we went earlier in the evening but later at night, especially on Saturday night I presume, it turns into somewhat of a "Girls Gone Wild" scene. Which is cool for some I guess but just not my scene anymore. I'm 29 (+4 -2) after all. Overall we had a great time.

It was driving home on Sunday when the panic set in for me. This was more than just the "Sunday dreads" one gets when anticipating the upcoming work week. As I made my way down 128 South past the Yorks, past Portsmouth, by Bysfield and Georgetown and Topsfield and finally home to good old Boston, it finally hit me what I had done the Friday before I left for vacation.

I quit my job.

Okay, let me put a more positive spin - I got a great offer that I couldn't turn down out of the blue from a downtown firm that is totally out of the current field I am working in. As scared shitless as I am I cannot help but think that this is going to change my life and take me places only three weeks ago I never thought I'd go.

New beginnings.

Drunk Girls on Golf Carts

So I went up on Monday and it turned out that Regina had some work stuff to take care of and couldn’t get there until Tuesday. My cousin and my uncle both have places up there but I was a bit hesitant just to drop in. They knew I was going to be up there for the week but I didn’t have a phone number so I didn’t want to impose or seem like a pain.

I got there about 2PM. I unpacked my car and dosed the cabin with Lysol before I settled into a lounge chair facing the pool and cracked a beer. What to do what to do. I texted Reg a million times and called Jude half a dozen. By 5PM I had enough liquid testosterone to slap on some make-up and heels and venture up the street to grab some dinner at the Ocean Grill. Sticking out like a sore thumb I ordered a beer and a sandwich and headed outside to the patio where I texted Reg, called Jude and chain smoked.

A few beers after that I concluded that it wouldn’t hurt to do a walk-by on my cousin and uncles places just for giggles. If I felt weird I would just leave and they would never know the difference. Aside from that, I could throw a stone at their park from the Ocean Grill. So off I went. I didn’t realize how frigin big the place was. It was a gated place and as soon as the click of the heels hit the pavement beyond the gate it seemed as though everyone came out on their porch to see who was intruding.

I stopped at a trailer near the gate and asked a woman if she knew where the two lots I was looking for where. She wasn’t so sure but flagged down two men on a golf cart. Next thing I know I’m on the back of a golf cart heading towards my uncle and cousin’s places.

So instead of being inconspicuous and taking a peek I arrive at their place buzzed and arms extended yelling “I HAVE ARRIVED, PEOPLE, I HAVE ARRIVED!” The surprise element had everyone in stitches. I was glad that I went to see my uncle, we had more beers, watched the game on a TV that my cousin had somehow taped to a tree, and laughed over and over again about the golf cart entrance.

I’ll write more tomorrow about how I now know why Sassy afraid of OOB.

Vacation, A New Home for Crystal

Tomorrow morning I'm off to Old Orchard Beach with a cooler full of beers and a mini-grill I got for my birthday but have no idea how to use yet. Thinking it may be a good idea to buy the propane up there considering I'll be chain smoking the entire time due to nerves. I don't think I've ever driven such a distance by myself. Reg isn't able to make it up there until Monday night the latest due to work stuff.

I truly can't get the hell out of here fast enough. About two weeks ago a non-profit organization for a few mentally challenged adults moved in across the street. Somehow they are under the impression that the cat who hangs out in their front yard belongs to me. Just because I know it by name and talk to it and it is in fact my mother's cat Crystal doesn't mean she belongs to me. :-) Seriously, though....what am I suppose to do? My folks took Crystal in about 15 years ago (side note, remember I live in the upstairs apt. above my mother Jude). She was and is an outdoor cat and always has been (we had her fixed, shots, etc). Anyhow, I can't leave my house, sit on the front porch, etc. without being yelled at by one of the residents that he is allergic to cats. I've told him time and time again she is not my cat and really, she isn't. The fucked up thing about all of this is Crystal is usually wicked scared of people, but for some reason she is drawn to this guy - he's always out on his porch and I've seen him pet and play with her but sometimes he shoos her off - she doesn't budge. I am fairly certain she is smitten. I guess the only thing I can do is rat Jude out next time we are out there together. Aren't I a good daughter snitching my mother out to the retarded guy across the street? Oh well, better her than me.

Have a great week everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!